The Navigator - Your GP is the gatekeeper to HSE, CAMHS, and everything that comes after diagnosis. Here's how to find one who'll actually go into bat for your family.
Establishing a trusted relationship with your local doctor is critical when you become a parent of an neurodiverse child. They are the gatekeepers to the system, including HSE, CAMHS, CDNT, therapists and additional support at school. I’ve been blessed, both in Australia and in Dublin, to find exceptional GPs.
My first GP instinctively understood me when I first visited her two weeks postpartum with Charlie. She understood where I came from, having children of her own, and spoke to me with kindness and practicality. I returned to her, and she was consistent in her treatment of me, and when she moved practice twice, I followed her both times.
Having a solid relationship with your local doctor goes two ways: you have to be honest with them for them to stick their neck out for you. Doctors have very astute “bullshit” or lie detectors, built over years of 15–30 minute consultations, hearing about ailments and watching body language. I know this from growing up with my parents, who were both doctors.
Naturally, when Charlie or Noah got sick, I took them to see her, and naturally she became part of our family. By creating a good bond with our local GP, I was building our team innately. GPs are your foundation — if you don’t get it right, life becomes more difficult than it needs to be, and it’s hard enough already!
Handy Hint: Save your local GP’s details in your phone contacts, with their address and landline, and make them easy to find. I’ve had to fill out these details on numerous forms over the years, from sign-up forms for the Occupational Therapist to HSE and school forms.
By the time we received the formal diagnosis, she knew our family history. She knew the added stress I was under, even when I didn’t, and gently guided me. She knew I didn’t have time for extra steps, so she gave me options so I could manage adeptly after I left the practice. For example, she would give me a prescription, then advise what to do, and what to do if things got worse; she’d organise blood or poo sample letters (whatever was required at the time) in advance, so I wouldn’t have to come back into the practice unnecessarily.
After diagnosis, she continued to step up and help out wherever she could. She also took my advice, which I found very flattering, especially when she said, “Yes, I listen to my patients’ recommendations, and you raved about this OT, so I booked my son in with her.”
My search for a GP in Dublin was restricted to where we lived and who we could get in to see at the time. My mother-in-law made the request at our local medical centre, the one she’d been visiting for years, so we had an introduction. At our first appointment, we made a conscious decision to go in as a family, so our new doctor could get to know us quickly. It was also a meeting where we got to sound each other out. If either of us had gotten a bad feeling about this doctor, we would have requested a swap. As it turns out, we liked our new doctor and have seen him on numerous occasions as we work through the various healthcare systems.
What I like about our current GP is that he listens and takes action. When we first arrived, we weren’t aware of the measures surrounding obtaining medication for ADHD. Our GP assisted by putting us in contact with CAMHs. When we received the paperwork, which stated that “to make the assessment, your child needs to go off medication for one month,” we were both dumbfounded.
We, as a family, are not alone: we need the medication so that Noah can attend school. We took our concerns back to our doctor, and he made at least three calls to CAMHs on our behalf, explaining our situation.
We eventually received a brief, not very helpful letter in response. Still, the point was that our local GP went in to bat for us, and we were very grateful. Furthermore, unasked, he made inquiries for a Speech Therapist, who got back to us six months later. We didn’t have to make that call ourselves; he took the job off our hands and completed it without being asked, and that is extremely valuable to parents of neurodiverse children.
Find a good local GP, treasure them, and treat them with respect as part of your “family team.” If you don’t like your current GP, move on. You might not be able to spell out why you don’t connect with a doctor, and that’s fine; your brain is too busy taking care of your family to put those feelings into words. I cannot emphasise enough the importance of choosing the right local GP for your family. A good GP will fight for you, and you need those people in your “family team.”
